This is my first time writing News-fic, don't rip it apart in the air, please ^.^;
Title: Gods and Pins - Pi is being told the ways of fandom
Author: *kon-kon* (shiscythe @ LJ)
Summary: stupidity galore as the NewS-Boys discuss fanfiction
Rating: PG (?)
Genre: Crack
Notes: Mentions of m/m relationshipsTitle: Gods and Pins - Pi is being told the ways of fandom
Pairing(s): umm, some implications, but I don’t want to tell ^^
Disclaimer: I wish they were mine - sadly they aren’t
First off, this is by no means meant to speak against any of the kinds of fics that I seem to be looking down upon, or anything. In fact I love reading about almighty!Tesshi and psycho!Tesshi, and I adore Pin, no matter if they’re portrayed as totally stupid or not. Don’t misunderstand, ne? ^_^
'...italics...' - Tegoshi's inner musings
On to the fic-thing:
After the countdown, where they had secretly hoped their old members would be allowed to re-join them, NEWS was gloomy.
‘this is unacceptable. something needs to be done.’
…
„It’s my fault that Moriuchi, Uchi *hickup* and Kusano are goooone…“ Tegoshi stormed into NEWS’ dressing-room, wailing.
Five pairs of eyes locked onto him, various eyebrows raised incredulously.
“… what… ?” Ryo voiced everybody’s thought.
Tegoshi sniffled, crawled into a stuffy armchair and haltingly whispered “It’s my fault they’re gone. I’m god, and must have unconsciously decreed it so…” The youngest of the group morphed his face into a façade of feeling slightly put-upon, as everyone broke into gales of laughter.
“Kami-sama, that was a good one…” Shige snorted. “Calm down, Tegoshi-kun, you’ve just read too much fanfiction, I’d say…”
‘ah, didn’t peg him to be one to read this nonsense…’
“…Fanfiction.” YamaPi stared at the younger man. “Are you telling us there’s fanfiction about Tesshi?” Koyama felt like he was watching a ping-pong match gone awry, since now all incredulous stares were transferred to their leader.
“You don’t know?” Ryo poked his friend into the shoulder. “There’s fanfiction about all of us! You honestly didn’t know? Don’t tell me you never googled any of our names, either?”
“Googled?” Pi looked adorably confused and Tegoshi laughed out loud.
“Seriously, Pi! You can’t be saying that you don’t know this!” Ryo continued “Even Massu has read some of that crap. I know, because came to me, slightly disturbed, to tell me about some nonsense about having read that Tesshi was a psychopathic serial-killer.”
‘eh? must have missed that one… pity’
“Eeeeh? I’m a serial-killer? I never knew!” Not it was Tegoshi who looked slightly distressed again. “What if I kill anyone of you? Maybe I should hand myself over to the police…” Massu slowly ambled over to the youngest, intent on calming him down, when suddenly Tesshi grinned at the rest of his band. “Don’t worry, I was pulling your legs.”
YamaPi felt the need to defend himself. “I don’t have access to the internet - even if I did, I have no time to fool around. There’s no free time to be doing it in…”
‘hmm… you are somewhat pale - and you’ve grown thinner. shame on us, we didn’t notice…’
“There’s free time now. Why don’t we all browse a little, and crack up on some of the stuff that can be found there…” Tegoshi beamed at everyone, smile putting the sun to shame.
“Pleeeeease?”
‘that should be enough to stop Shige trying to return to his law-books… though if Pi would rather try to sleep, I’ll let him off the hook…’
“That’s a fun idea. Right now I kind of can’t concentrate on my books anyway.” Shige sat up his laptop, and Pi eagerly came closer to stand by the law-student’s shoulder, as the other connected to the internet.
“Well, gentlemen, what do we want our nice leader-san here to read? How about some Ryoda?” A mischievous smile was thrown into Ryo’s direction. Or, god forbid, maybe Pin?”
“First suggestion is crap, and you know it. And Pin? Momo-chan here will be scarred for life…”
Ryo had a point. Maybe.
“I want Nishikato anyway!” Tegoshi overruled everybody and promptly began searching for it.
“Ano… does it have to be porn? How about some funny ‘Shige-gets-mistaken-as-Tegoshi’ or something else from the Shigethon? It’s not so… umm… you know.” Massu hesitantly voiced is opinion.
‘hmm, true maybe that’s the best idea - oh, shige looks like he didn’t know about the shigethon… we really ought to look at some of that, then’
Pi looked like the sky had turned green. “Eh? I don’t understand any of those tag-words. Why would fics about Ryo being Ryo (Ryo da) be crap, and why would I be scarred by stories about needles or pins? Eh?”
“Ah, you don’t need to understand, Momo-chan, trust me…” Ryo muttered, searching for the Shigethon.
Kato looked confused as hell as well. “Shigethon? Who the hell is ‘Thon’?”
Ryo snorted. “No one. As far as I understood it, some people have realised that you’re totally underappreciated in fandom and decided to change that by writing more about you. Though I just read the ones where you’re being confused with Tegoshi - I prefer to not read anything where I’m being slashed with anyone of you - or fish-lips, for that matter.”
In the end they read some 5-ways-ficlets and one about Koyato.
“Ah, I don’t mind if my member-Ai gets mistaken for romance.”
“What about me?”
”Who cares about you, book-worm?”
”Not you, apparently.”
”I’ll show you how much I care.” Ryo kisses Shige who sort of faints, much to the amusement of everyone else.
“Well, that was kind of … educating, I guess. From earlier comments I figure Ryoda means Ryo being together with Ueda?” Tegoshi and Koyama nodded enthusiastically, Ryo frowned.
“That’s nice and well, but I can’t seem to figure out the needle - err, pin one. What is it?”
Ryo grinned. “That, Momo-chan, would be you and Bakanishi. They could have titled that pairing as dumb and dumber, for all I care, since you’re both dorky idiots in those fics - at least the one or two I made myself read.”
‘let me guess, the ones where you get to be in the middle of Pin’
Pi looked faintly ill. “Me and Jin? Good god, Nagase would kill me.”
‘… oh … guess I have no chance with Tomoya, then… pity, he’s fun’
Feeling that with this juicy piece of information, the rest of NEWS wouldn’t fall back into gloom anytime soon, Tegoshi sneaked out of the room, intent on seducing Tackey who apparently wasn’t as attached to Pi as Tesshi had presumed.
End
Love it? Hate it? Please comment <3
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